Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Lies Lies and more Lies!!!

So this week is half over and my travel is continuing. Just printed the boarding pass for Birmingham Alabama. I am told this is the deep south and I will blend right in. I guess we will wait and see … more to come on that.

The trip to Yuma AZ is still weighing heavy on my mind. I have had about 3 hours sleep in the past 36 hours most of that sleep was in planes or airports.

The journey home to Charlotte was going to be a challenge from the time it was booked. You see I had to be financially responsible to select the best price on the airline ticket since I was spending the corporate dollar, Don’t get me wrong, I know it makes good sense but at what cost. One layover … two layovers when does it stop. Well it stopped at two layovers as follows.

We leave 96 degree Yuma AZ at 6:40 PM PST and fly to LA which is about 55 degrees. We land at approximately 8:00 PM PST. Our next flight is from LA to Phoenix, yes back to AZ because that makes great sense!! The departure board states that the flight from LA is departing at 9:00 PM PST and is on time. If this were true it would have us in Phoenix at 10:15 PM PST with an hour before our final leg of travel departs.

Here is where the lies begin. You see the board states that the flight is on time yet it is 9:15 PM PST and there is no plane on the ground. It is running late from wherever!!!

The rather masculine looking women at the gate announces that the plan will be on the ground at 9:20 PM PST and will arrive at the gate for a quick turn around. The board still states flight on time!!!

I wait patiently for a plane and an update knowing full well that precious time is being wasted. The flight from Phoenix to Charlotte was due to depart at 11:15 PM PST and we had to change terminals since it was on a different airline which would require us to pass through security again.

It is at this point now 9:25 PM PST that I approach the aforementioned masculine women at the gate and explain our situation. And this very masculine women who could actually be a slightly feminine man looks at me with little to no confidence and states no problem you will get there in time. Since I don’t feel overly reassured I explain that there is a flight to Charlotte from LA that departs at 10:45 PM PST and ask that she or he look at to see if we can get on that flight to ensure that we get home at the god forsaken hour of 6:00 AM EDT. My new friend at the gate … huffs loudly as a result which I can smell what she or he had for dinner, at least that is what I hope I was smelling anything else would be sickening!! After a few clicks on the key board I get the sorry there are no seats available, but you will get to Phoenix in plenty of time. I just love an optimist!!!

With no other options, the plane from wherever arrives we are not forced to board with this announcement. “All passengers all rows please board!!!” The mad dash and resulting log jam results!

Finally our fate is defined as the plane experienced wheels up at 10:15 PM PST. No chance to make it there in time. To my surprise, the pilot announces that we will get in ahead of schedule and for those with connecting flights you should be able to connect.

We pull up to the gate in Phoenix at 11:10 PM PST leaving use 5 minutes to get from terminal 2 to terminal 5. Despite knowing that the door closes 10 minutes before takeoff we make an effort as you never know that flight could be late too. We arrive at security in the half disrobed state needed to pass through security only to be greeted with “what flight are you getting?” Charlotte … a laugh and smile sorry left 3 minutes ago … it was ahead of schedule. My lucky day.

Next stop Brandon B. in Baggage to rebook!!

Brandon B. an obvious aspiring comedian proceeds to hit us with his best act while he tells us that there is little to no chance that we will get on the first available flight which is due to leave at 5:40 AM PST some 6 hours from that moment. Sounds like the truth but turns out to be a lie as we get booked and we sit and wait.

The airport night crew is proceeding to clean the entire terminal with equipment that could strip pavement so sleep can’t be had if you wanted it. In addition, the cleaning crew appears to have a goal to make the entire terminal smell like dirty feet. Mission accomplished.

While I never for a moment thought that we would make the final flight home I still believe that the lies were designed to prevent additional work for those sharing the lies.

I cant wait until I get to consider west coast travel again!!!

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